Potpourri

On: A mixed bag of feelings.

This week has been especially tricky for me. I’m not sure why, but I’ve been stricken with immobility. Not only have I been unable to write, but my motivation to do anything has been in the toilet! So, when I finally decided to get out of my own way and put together a blog for this week, I came up with this. A mixed bag of challenges.

This is ….. Jeopardy

Today’s category is Potpourri.

Clue: Something one might say when they are down on the holidays.
Answer: What is Ba-humbug?

Ok, so here we are on the 8th of December. There are 16 days left before Christmas and I have two small grandchildren to entertain. Yet, I haven’t a stitch of decorating done. Every time I think about drumming up a little spirit, I realize that in order to get to the decorations, I have to go through the closet. Then I have to move stuff around so I can actually reach the boxes to get them out. At that point, I am overwhelmed. Actually, I was overwhelmed with the idea of even going into the closet! Don’t worry, all is not lost. Even though I still haven’t spruced up my home, I did force myself to purchase tickets to a local Chamber of Commerce Holiday Gala so I would get out of the house and socialize a bit. It forced me to find some decent clothes and get gussied up. For that, I decided to polish my fingernails. One hand with green polish and one with red. I donned my present earrings, slapped on some lipstick, and sprayed on some perfume. Voila! A little less humbugness. Baby steps towards actually decorating the house. I did enjoy my outing and am glad that my friend invited me.

Clue: An article of clothing you wear on your feet under your shoes.
Answer: What are socks?

I am going to be completely honest about this issue of socks. It has been bothering me enough, obviously, to include in this post. For someone who’s feet are always cold, I never used to wear socks to bed. Are you kidding me? I would be sweating the minute the covers got pulled up. Not now though. Since I am missing my radiator of a husband, my body heat just doesn’t emanate enough to warm up my toes. It’s annoying and now I wear socks to bed most nights. What a stupid thing to have to do. It’s one of those little things that simply annoys me.

Clue: This word means to run away from something or someone.
Answer: What is flee?

If I could have pulled a “Forest Gump” and started running away until I reached the point of being ready to return, I would have this week. I just wanted to get out of here. I wasn’t mad or upset, just ready to leave. So, on Tuesday, I was prepared to start running again. I decided that in order to do so successfully I would walk between two telephone poles, then jog to the next one. I would repeat the pattern to the end of my road and back. That plan quickly went out the window, however, when my knee started throbbing. This getting older crap has got to go! Here I was all set to train for my big “fleeing” event and yet, I couldn’t even do that! What makes it worse is that I actually had a thimble full of motivation and that tipped over at the first opportunity. Needless to say, I completed the whole walk by “walking” and then took a bath because I was feeling sorry for myself and was sure my muscles would be sore if I didn’t.

Clue: The complete absence of sound.
Answer: What is silence?

There is no one who appreciates silence more than this child from a family of 10 children and an elementary school teacher, but when silence infiltrates my room at night….I am unable to sleep. And I thought the sock situation was bad. This is definitely worse. Having slept next to a very loud grizzly bear whose snoring has gotten him kicked out of camp more than once, the absence of any and all noise has turned me into an insomniac.  I sleep with the television on. I listen to adult bedtime stories that are supposed to be meditative and offer strategies to clear the mind. I get up and go downstairs to get a drink from the fridge, even though I have a water bottle at my bedside. I know, I know- I should get a white noise machine. But I don’t want to! I want to just enjoy the fact that it is nice and quiet during the time when I should be sleeping anyway.

There you have it. All sorts of stuff that you never really needed to know about me and the struggles I am having this week. Apparently, this is also part of the grieving process- finding new things to stress out about. I am sure that in due time things will even out, but while in the thick of it, the hills seem steep, the bed feels cold, and maybe I just need to embrace the whole “silent night” scene to bring back my holiday happiness. I hope this post has put a smile on your face. It has for me. Until next week.