Grief Has a Cadence

There is a cadence when it comes to grief.

It is like the rhythm of marching feet in a parade. It comes and goes, gets louder and subsides. It is always in the background…

The Cadence:

• It sounds like the rhythm of marching feet on the ground down the street. It’s subtle, but it’s there just the same. Sometimes it sounds like it is moving away and sometimes the sound begins to get louder as it comes your way. 
• Knowing that it is coming doesn’t always prepare you for the intense beating of your heart with each coordinated step, as the grief approaches and lands on your chest. Once it has arrived all there is to do is accept it and allow it to envelop you whole.
• There are times, however, when you can feel the ground moving and hear the subtle marching coming your way. If you want to avoid grief’s fury, you can reach out to someone for help. As you go into their house, the sound dissipates as the door closes behind you. With the support of family or a friend you are able to block out the sound while it passes by. When you are ready to go back outside….there is only a slight hum left lingering in the air.
• Too often, I’m afraid, the deafening sound of grief just arrives in front of you without warning. It moves through you instantly and without rhyme or reason and makes your body tremble with the vibrations coming from the ground up. 
• Staying busy helps to drown out the noise, at least for a while.

It has been a year since my husband passed and I have learned a great deal about how I interact with my grief. Loss of life is part of the cycle I guess, but moving through the process is just hard. It doesn’t matter who you are or who or what you have lost. I am sorry for your loss. I hope that over time, the cadence becomes a subtle reminder of those who have been recruited to march on together in the afterlife.