A broad strokes review….
To be honest, I am not really sure where to start with this post. That being said, I was reminded to write today and this was on my list of to-do’s, so here I am. Since we are at the beginning of a new year, looking back just makes sense. Don’t worry, I will not rehash all of the good, bad and ugly of this past year, but will try to focus on giving myself a little grace in the face of one hell of a sad year.
This Past Year…..
- …seems like a blur. It was weird. Time felt like it was going slow and fast at the same time. It’s hard to explain, but it was like moving in slow motion and then looking up to find that another week was gone. It was definitely an emotional roller coaster.
- …I made a lot of decisions by myself, took a lot of risks and did my best to be as selfish as I could in order to maintain my composure. That also came at a cost, but was something I simply had to do in order to remain upright and supportive for my family. There were many times when I would purposely disappear from communication because I just could not face the pain of others.
- …I had to tell far too many people that my spouse had passed and I was a widow. Every time that happened, it was like a twig snapping. Another freaking stick to put on the fire of heartbreak. Thankfully it seems to happen less. The more time that passes, the easier it gets to ease the burden for others.
- …I felt some closure. Upon burying Scott’s ashes and celebrating his life once again with family and friends, the weight on my shoulders was much less. Not all the way gone, but it allowed me to stand taller and fill my lungs with much needed air. It also cleared the air so I could see straight again.
- …I made it a point to engage in healthier habits. I joined a pickle ball club, sought out friends to socialize with, maintained my gym membership, and began a routine writing process.
- ….I quit my teaching job and have begun my writing business. Being open to what was to come has resulted in the attainment of quality clients with incredibly smart and supportive professionals.
When 2024 came to a close, the door to a new year opened up. Looking back on how I got to this point makes me much more hopeful. With the help of family and friends, my family and I have done it! We didn’t crumble, but kept moving forward no matter how ugly it was.
Now, I am ready to take my life in a new direction. New work, new responsibilities, new relationships, and of course, a new focus on strengthening my friendship and family foundations. We got this! It won’t be easy and the emotional roller coaster is sure to be ridden on occasion, but the good news is that the roller coaster stops and we can reach out our hand for assistance getting off.
Happy New Year! May 2025 be filled with love and strength to face whatever comes your way.
Last modified: January 10, 2025
