On: My Grief Journey
My life has changed completely, but I am not afraid. I am scared at times, but I am not afraid of what is ahead because I have the tools and resources to manage. Someone recently asked me how I am doing- really. I said that I am good. Pretty hard to believe, I know.
It’s only been 11 months (or pretty close to it), but like I said, I have things that make it possible to keep going… besides my stubbornness.
- I have the memories of true love.
- I have the love of my close family and lots and lots of friends.
- I have a roof over my head.
- I have ambitions and will be successful in my writing career.
- I have been left with a well-respected and sound plumbing company.
- I have my health.
- I have an internal drive to embrace life for all its worth.
Look at all the things I have. And those are just seven of the things I can hold on to or lean into when I’m feeling down or sad. They don’t stop me from crying. They don’t keep me from keeping Scott’s memory alive by talking about him all the time! They also don’t allow me to roll up in a ball and wallow in my feelings. I now live by the “life is short” philosophy and am doing things that I enjoy, fill my bucket, and are even a little out of my comfort zone.
Even when Scott was alive, I made it a point to do things for myself that would facilitate independence. Little did I know they would all be thrown in my face unexpectedly. So, here I am unafraid to take the bull by the horns. I am a little scared when taking that first step toward the beast, but I have always found that just hopping on and getting the ride started is a lot easier than the anxiety ridden anticipation of what might happen.
There you have it!
Last modified: August 28, 2024
